I know its been quite a while since I last posted. Words cannot express how much the lord has been doing in me. As many of you know, I have been here a little longer than expected. But I know now that God intended for me to be here this long. There have been many healing's in my heart.
But before i get into that I want to first and foremost thank all of you who have been partnering with me in my walk with Christ with support of finance and prayer! Words cannot express just how much of an overflow of thankfulness I have in my heart. I love you all so deeply especially since you guys sacrificed a little extra in your lives for me to be ABSOLUTELY filled with his glory,grace and never ending LOVE!!! I am experiencing God as I have never have before. There's so much fire in my heart for Christ Jesus, I can hardly contain myself as I write this!!!!!! He continues to ruin me everyday and gives me awesome revelations. My eyes tear up now when I speak/talk about our God. My heart trembles with such fire for the lord. I want nothing more than for the people from back home to experience what transformation I am going through. Jesus is alive people!!
Now back to what I was saying at first. Being able to be on an outreach team here in Japan has been very stretching but also such an incredible blessing. Being on a team that is entirely 10 years younger has been a definite challenge. God continues to tell me to trust in him more and more. I am the teams cook/chef they call me. Haha. Its been very hard to cook for a team of 15 with only a $40 budget everyday. Its also frustrating because when I go to the grocery store, everything is in Japanese. I hardly know what im getting half the time. But somehow, no matter what I cook, the team seems to be happy with what I made for there meal. I feel like the big brother of the team most of the time. I really feel the lord put me here to APPLY every breakthrough I have had. I found it so breathtakingly amazing, that if you take time to put together how much God is in your life, what path he chooses for you and how he brings it all together JUST FOR YOUR GOOD!!!! There are so many strong personalities here on this team and somehow, we all come together and humble ourselves to life each other up and love one another. I personally, would of never ever thought, I could have been on this type of team myself. But I know now God took his time with me specifically for this moment in my life. To give me a revelation of humbleness. To love WHATEVER his creations are. Every person we encounter in our lives are for a reason. The lord puts them there to teach us something. It is up to us to see his grace in everything. I continue to put all this knowledge he has given me to use everyday. To die to myself and to only live for him. At least I do my best.
Being here in Japan has been so heart felt amazing!!! I couldnt understand it at the time but I knew this was the moment God was "training" me for. I felt a lot of emotions when I landed in Japan, all at the same time. I had to gather myself and sit in prayer for a moment because I knew the enemy was trying to attack me right away. But I remembered what this moment meant, what I went through, and how much I had grown to love the lord. It was then I felt any wrong feeling or emotion melt away. I suddenly felt peace. It's amazing what a little meditation with the lord can do to ease moments of struggle. Nothing could ever compare to the love the lord has for me. There are no words to describe his love for us. I simply cannot explain what has happened to me and my heart for the Japanese people. All I know, is that I absolutely have no anger or bitterness toward them at all. Instead, my heart grows ever more deeper for them. They are a culture of absolute "perfection". They continue to seek perfection at an almost godly level. My heart burns for the Japanese. I want to so badly tell them that they are perfect just the way they are. That God has created us perfectly and that the only thing we need to seek is a God who is perfect in every way. That he loves us for our mistakes no matter what cost. I'm having trouble to put in words what my heart feels for these people. When I walk down the street, and I see a man, or a woman with there head down as they are walking, I so badly want to stop them, and tell them to lift there head up and walk with pride and joy because Jesus loves them so very much. I sense so much FIRE and PASSION in the Japanese but they are bound by the enemy so strong here. There are so many strongholds upon the Japanese. I so want to set them free of any bind or passivity or whatever that is holding them back. I feel so suffocated and frustrated at times, because they do not know of a God who can set them so free. It's like worshiping our God and screaming at the top of your lungs for Jesus and confessing your love for him, not caring what others are thinking of you at that moment. Not caring who is looking at you, making a fool of yourself. But becoming so in tune with our God at that moment, and letting the holy spirit inside take over our bodies and be completely free. To not be bound by any of the enemy's strongholds but to be bound only by his love. My heart for the Japanese is ever growing at a rapid pace. I have been repenting so much to our lord for ever being so STUPID and being bound by generational curse. My walk with my team, our lord and these people have been so incredibly humbling. I have grown to LOVE these people and country with all my heart. I cannot wait to see what else is in store coming in the next 5 weeks. I am forever changed.
